Listen Up Fuck-Face

Listen Up Fuck-Face

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I bet you couldn´t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed in the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans.

You´re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back: You are a festering pustule on a weasel´s ramp. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

I will never get over the embarassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this Earth. You are a technicolor yawn. And did I mention that you smell? 😦

You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature, and a heavy metal bag-pipe player. You were not born, you were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn´t crawl out of an normal egg, either, but rather an mutant maggot egg, rejected by an evil mad scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then literally died in shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late thought 

Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight, the evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be availble to readers, but they will be able to access it much more rapidly. If cluelessness were crude oil, your scalp would be crawling with caribou.

You are a tick-headed throg. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that: You top-post. God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitoes, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards, and made you. I take it back: God didn´t made you. You are Satan´s spawn, you are evil beyond comprehension, half-living in a slough of despair, you are the entropy that will claim us all! You are a green-nostril-ed, cross-eyed, hairy-livered, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You are a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even coackroaches won´t have breed with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn´t validate. You have a coulple of adressing lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.

Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you ten years ago. Do you fantasize that your tantruns and conniption fits could be really worth of the $0.000000001 worth of eletricty used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T and your future doesn´t look really promising either. We need to trace all your bloodlines and terminate all siblings and cousings in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news, is that no normal human being would ever mate with you, so we don´t need to go into the sewers in search of your git.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, an meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, you drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and you strike Pentacostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.12 world. You think that the “Dark Web” is the website of a Black Metal band. You prefer Jimmy ScreamerClauz to Steven Spielberg and Walt Disney. You can´t get the “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke. You would watch Where The Dead Go To die all the day if the other inmates would let you.

On a good day, you´re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that leads character. You have the personality of a wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asnine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phonse Sex Operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasentness. You spread misery and sorrow wherecver you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillinamous Galacthophage and you wear your sister´s training bra. Don´t bother opening the door when you leave, you should be able to slime your way out undearneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you.

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You dankish clack-dish ponker. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You gormless crook-pasted tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bayley poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxbomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flipper-grill. You are the leftover of an abortion. You mother should have swallwed you. You fucking useless piece of shit, may your spouse (if you ever get one and I highly doubt that) be blessed with a thousand miscarriages!

You are so clueless that if you dressed in clue skin, doused yourself in clue musk, and did the clue mating dance in the middle of a field of horny clues in the height of a clue mating season, you still would not get a clue. If you were a movie, you would be a double feature: Battlefield Earth and Moron Movies II, and you would be out of focus.

You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a mal-formed four-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothes with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything a about you, and I wish you could go away. You are a Vídeo Brinquedo rip-off that dreams of becoming as great as the original film, you will not make it. I beg for sweet death to come, and remove me from a wold that became unbereable when the bio terrorists designed you.

I can´t believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stone that the other stones make fun of. Stupid as the stone that the stone wich the other stones make fun of makes fun of. Meta-stupid. Trans-stupid. Stupid-cubed. Stupid collapsed to a singularity that even the stuponions have collapsed. Stupid so dense that not even the greatest Einstein-like intellect can escape it. Blazing hot summer mid-day Sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It is not possible to anything in our universe to really be this stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Maybe, this is an primordial fragment of the original Big Bang of stupidity. Stupid so stupid that we need to into a whole new dimension just to get a glimpse of your intellect. I´m sorry. I can´t go on. This is an ephyphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me for a while. I don´t have the strenght left to mock your ignorant opinions and stupid statements about science, or entertaiment. Or any other topic or matter. DUH.

The only thing worse than your logic, is your manners. I have snipper away most of what you wrote, because, well… it didn´t really said anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitful. Maybe later in life, after you have learned to write,spell,and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people have an easy time mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world that find these thing a bit more difficult. If I had know that this was your case, I wouldn´t even had exposed myself to what you “wrote”, it just wouldn´t had been “right”, sort of like packing in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

PS: You are: Hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobic, avaricious, tastless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecillic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, lame, demented, self-righteous, byzantine, conspirational, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenestic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionitic, narrow, manipulative, patternistic, fundamentalistic, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, supressive, controling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystepic, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, agressive, mind-numbing, arrassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, pinguid, evil, and generally, Not Good.

I hope this helps…

You are worse than this horrible insect

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